Top 10 Lists

EPA's Former Executive Director Doug Trouten's "Top 10" lists have become a convention staple. Here are some lists from past conventions:

Top 10 reasons for changing the format of EPA's annual business meeting

The 2008 business meeting was conducted in record time, and sandwiched between lunch and the Higher Goals awards. It was a significant change in the way we handle our business, and we think it’s a good one. While previous meetings took an hour or more, by cutting back to the bare essentials we brought the 2008 meeting in at five minutes and five seconds. Here are our Top 10 reasons for the change:

10. Change? What change? We’ve done it this way since 1984. It’s double-plus good.

9. Growing financial stability of EPA makes it easier to pass a budget, because larger figures make it easier for me to hide my embezzling.

8. Growing prevalence of attention deficit disorder demands that meetings be either shorter or more interesting. We’re trying shorter first.

7. EPA no longer has lengthy policy discussions, and no longer adopts resolutions on various issues, because nobody cares any more – not the way they did in the ‘60s, dude.

6. The fact that all of you usually flee the room before the business meetings hurt our feelings, so this is payback.

5. Now that we nominate only one candidate for each office, there’s no longer a need for campaign speeches – just like Cuba.

4. Old system left board members feeling lonely – so very lonely.

3. Members’ growing ignorance of how to run a meeting eliminates lengthy discussions of Roberts Rules of Order.

2. Reason number two has been eliminated due to time demands. We’re cutting down everywhere.

1. Experience has shown us that if you think you might have a shot at getting an award when it’s done, you’ll sit through anything.

Top 10 things to look forward to at next year's convention

The 2009 EPA convention will be held in Indianapolis, in conjunction with the Associated Church Press. It's the first time since 1988 that the two organizations have met together. Here are our Top 10 things to look forward to in Indianapolis:

10. Adding up the membership of EPA and ACP may literally make us the Indy 500.

9. Your church may support a conference with ACP members as a short-term missions trip.

8. Presence of ACP members may help EPA members feel less conspicuous in hotel bar.

7. Fewer time zones to cross means more energy for late-night lobby lurking.

6. Safe Midwestern location significantly reduces risk of falling into the ocean

5. This one’s just for me as a Minnesotan – it’s a chance for long-suffering Minnesota Vikings fans to see what it feels like to be in a city with a championship football team.

4. Contrary to a once-popular song, Indiana wants you and you CAN go back there.

3. Indie artists and indie films are all the rage – come see what all the fuss is about.

2. Addition of ACP will boost our numbers, making it possible to put on an even better convention than usual. Sorry – that’s a real reason. Not sure how that got in there.

And the number one thing to look forward to in Indiana next year…

1. Peyton Manning may ask for your autograph.